Sunday, 6 October 2019

7/10/19 ***No go on 3 months isolation

I had a dream about SJ&A.  In this dream I was still trying to come up with a workable compensation model.  Shit, I am still working in SJ&A after I left it for 20 years.

Sarah, you have to help me out.  I [] been in isolation for too long.  I think I am losing it.  I need human interaction.

I had been eating sweet stuff.  Rightfully I should not be depressed.  The gout is back.  Very mild though.

So this is my life Sarah.  My brain is searching for meaningful things to do.  I dare not exercise this morning for fear that the gout might flare up.

I need to [] you pretty badly.

Heck Sarah, I just simply ramble here.

I should not watch the Joker.  It effected my mood somewhat.

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I know what, I have a Nasi Lemak and banana ball.  What do you think Sarah?

Yeap, it feels good.

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The remedy is to exercise everyday.  However I need the right dosage especially [] the very beginning.

Another thing is to revert back to the old model; that I am God and I created the Adjoining Croissant.

However I am willing to experiment with the third option; which is I simply flow.

In this model I don't set any expectation at all.  I just live one day at a time.

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I feel like smoking cigarette.  That means I am suffering from mild depression.

This is my life Sarah.  Because it is abnormal, that is why I get hooked on the 3 Cs.

When the depression hit me, there is nothing much I can do.

So now I just grit my teeth trying hard not to smoke or fuck.

Actually I just need a good company.  I just want to be loved.

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