Saturday, 5 October 2019

5/10/19 ***The journey in moving North

You know Sarah, the bulk of what I type in the blogs are things I wrote so that I am connected to you.  Without them I have no means of keeping my link to you.

However you are now seeing a major shift in my thoughts.  I am no longer concern about things that cannot be explained.  I am no longer concern with my past and future.  The present alone is enough to keep me occupied.

That is the true value of Fuzzy Thinking.  I can shift my thoughts as and when I feel like it.

Do I discard my previous thoughts?  Absolutely not.  It's just a KIV.  It is no longer necessary for me to dwell in a looping thought.

I still believe in God and afterlife.  However I don't think it will help me much in living my life whether I think about it or not.  Let say I explored the avenue and the end result is I am the Almighty and I created the Adjoining Croissant.  That is my idea of God and the afterlife.

So now I want to focus on other things.  That's how I manage my life now.  Nothing is absolute.  As I said before, the blogs are my idea factories.  What I wrote here is not a decree.

It's all depends on the state of my mind at that time.  As you can see, my thoughts fluctuate like the ocean waves.  Therefore I'm not going to be rigid about the whole thing.

Suppose I want to be dogmatic about the thoughts I conceive.  If I take the absolute thinking approach, then my conclusion is as Marcus Aurelius put it; everything is an opinion and a perspective.  Therefore a hard and fast observation is there is no God and afterlife.

But in my case, it serves no purpose.  It is not even meaningful to spend time thinking about it.

So what do I do?  I suspend my judgement by putting the questions in KIV.

That allows me to regard my past thoughts as useful although not relevant at this point.

What counts is I am experiencing an improvement in my mental health.  No point talking about truth because the real truth is in mathematics.  A field that I am severely handicapped.  That makes me an inappropriate person to talk about truth.

What I do offer is my understanding of what it means to be me.  I do sincerely hope I am being as sincere as possible in portraying my perception of how I see my world.  It may be  the world from a mentally handicapped person, nevertheless it is the world that was unfolded to me.  I feel it is an honor for me to have such an inspiration although I don't think it is the truth.

Where is this leading to?  Back to the most basic question.  Do you still love me?  That's all I care.  That's because I need your Unconditional Love as much I need the air that I breathe.  You are the reason I keep on writing.

Bear in mind that I write whatever that comes to mind. I simply brings out what comes to mind without any censorship.  What you see is what you get.  No facade.  It is you who said that I should write whatever I feel like writing.  Well here they are.  Without wax.

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