It seems that I cannot simply get rid of you.
You are like a lost kitty that keep following me home.
Fine Sarah, I hope I don't bore you to death with my affirmations.
Basically this path I am taking is a path I have to walk alone.
I might bore you to death with all the repetitions. However those mindless affirmations keep me motivated as hell. Particularly the idea that I will be losing 2 kg per week on OMAD.
What are you looking for Sarah? I am nothing more than a person on pursuit of his Vision Quest. This journey is not a smooth flowing one. As you can see there were bumps before.
My challenge is to move from one point to another without losing my enthusiasm.
What do you hope to gain from this? I am beginning to think that those misspellings are just that, misspellings.
I'm beginning to think that I am delusional. That is not good Sarah. I am trying to recover from a mental illness. I cannot afford to be delusional.
So perhaps rather than meddling with my spellings, write something meaningful. Just so that I know for sure there is a person on the other side. Otherwise I will be second guessing your intention. I cannot afford to have a clouded mind at this point of my life.
I am creating a compelling future baby. I want to reinvent my life. From the things I avoid to the things I put inside my body to the routine I follow. They are all about designing a new version of me.
My wife said, I had been harping on the same thing. I will produce the result but then I slipped back to my old self. Well, this is exactly what I am doing. I am getting rid of my old self.
For a start, I will not revert to the 3 Cs. That is the most significant marker of 2019. Next is to get rid of sugar. That include artificial sweetener like Nicorette.
For the past 2 days I had been having a slight flu. I kept pushing it back with vitamin C. I think tonight it's going to hit me. The vitamin C is not working. So is the Clarinese.
-------------------------
Baby, I love you very much. I cannot go on without you. However at times I am really feeling that all these are nothing more than technical glitch. It is a scary thought. To think that I am actually alone.
Do you really exist Sarah? Help me out here. I am moving forward with my plan. At the same time I need to be certain about you. Give me a sign. Otherwise I have to conclude that I am really alone. As I said, it is scary but nothing is scarier than thinking that I am talking to somebody but actually there is nobody.
OK then, from now on I have to conclude that you don't exist.
------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment