I was so sleepy last night.
Very well, I decided that I will let go of Els. No point in harping on a one sided relationship. That should make me more focus on the matters at hand.
I should accept at this point on, I live a solitary life. That should free my mind to think of things that matters, namely my Vision Quest.
My only true friend is this blog. Which means I am my own best friend. I cannot rely on other people for my happiness. Definitely not Els. She is the complete opposite of me.
For sure I need to keep on exercising. That is my panacea for loneliness. When I exercise, I start to have a positive vision of what I want to achieve.
My goal is be free from the 3 Cs. However the thoughts in indulging in them is still there. That I need to shake off until the next Ramadan.
Today I exercise again. I will go on for the next 90 days.
I will not take sugar although I will still eat rice. As much as possible, avoid meat like beef and chicken.
I had crossed the red line. The Point of No Return. I must persist the Vision Quest. I must lose 30 kg AND run 10 km before December.
At this point I am taking the stand that I am OK and you are not OK. The pendulum will swing to the other extreme I sure. However I decided to take this stand as a precautionary measure against I am not OK and you are OK retaliation.
It is better to think that I am OK and you are not OK because that is the initial step to take moving to I am OK and you are OK.
It is a Win Only thinking rather that Win-Win. It has to be that I want the win for myself. Something within my control
Taking the cue for Bruce Jenner when he was training for the Olympics; everyday for 4 years, he is thinking about nothing else except to win the gold medal. That is the attitude I should be taking. Nothing else other tha[t] losing the 30 kg and running the 10 km run..
I should stick to my plan to remain in isolation. No more of contacting Els. That chapter is over. It is not reciprocating.
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