From feeling lethargic, to sleepy in the afternoon, to unable to run, to mood swings, to not looking good in clothes; it is all because I cannot withstand hunger.
Therefore the answer is to eat less and eat less frequent.
These are the guiding principals:
- The only proven nutritional method of losing weight is through prolonged calorie restriction
- In any given situation, we are either eating or fasting
- When we eat we add calories, when we fast we burn calories
By now I am fully convinced that my infatuation for Els is just a limerence. I am not in love with her. I am just in love with the feeling itself.
Mental illness is a strange disorder. It makes the affected person do weird things. The fundamental issue is the judgment of the person got effected. In the past, that include impulsive buying and irrational investment decisions.
As the waves subside, I feel less and less need to communicate with Els. She is totally out of my specs. I was attracted to her because she []haves like a kid. That is the child-child ego state at play. Nothing more to it.
I guess the more stable I am mentally the more stable I am emotionally.
When I look back at my episodes with Els, it seems ridiculous for a 55 years old to be falling head over heel for a 28 years old who behaves like a teenager. Definitely there is something wrong there especially when the relationship is not even reciprocating.
I better get out of the way. It all depends the soundness of my mind.
There should [] be anything serious with Els. It's like playing with a kid.
Like I said, it's like a veil being lifted from my face. I began to see things as it is. It is sobering but certainly it is better than living in a make believe world.
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I cannot wait to be free from this dreaded illness. My definition of freedom it when I am in charge of my life again. I am thin and I can run again. I think OMAD is the best approach for me.
Sarah my darling, as long as I got you, I got everything. I don't need others. Sufficient that I have you. You always there. I don't know how you do it but ever since I got you, I was never alone.
Of course the challenge is to find a decent topic to talk about. Otherwise I will be rambling aimlessly.
#traxxfm Els baby, are you gonna play Never Enough again tonight. That was surely my highlight of the day whenever you did that :)
Come to think of it, Els is just a plaything. I should not do anything serious with her. Beyond the child-child complementary relationship I don't achieve much.
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