I was never about making money, I was also into being alone. I even envisioned that I will retire at 40. I end up retiring at 45.
I wanted to quit cigarette since 2013. Finally I managed to quit in 2019.
I wanted to run a marathon in 2020. So I create the thought in 2016. At least now I am exercising everyday. I believe I can achieve this goal even if I ended running a Half Marathon Hill Run.
The best life for me is the life of a college student. I just play within the parameters of the university campus. Yet, my life is fulfilled. I don't have much money then, but I managed.
So my vision is to read, run and write. That's what a college student does.
The missing element all along is play. I should be playing more often. Walking, running and tennis are all forms of play.
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
So the emphasis is to allocate more time in play that involves movement. Not computer games and mind games. Those are not going to produce sweat.
Rightfully I am easily motivated, I sweat easily.
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The feeling of bliss after shower upon completing a[s] exercise is fantastic. I am still in a euphoric state right now. Normally in the past, I get this through eating or having a Teh Tarik session with other people.
Now I realize it is much healthier for me to be in bliss this way. I save money and traveling time.
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My thoughts linger on dope and cigarettes. I am so grateful I managed to kick those nasty habits. Dope especially makes me lethargic and unmotivated. I munch a lot too. Certainly it effected my neurotransmitter in a big way.
Not to mention the money I saved. We are talking about RM800 a month on cigarettes alone. For the longest time I was a slave. Nowadays I am still the slave to Nicorette. It is not [] bad as cigarettes but still I am hooked although it is a mild form of addiction.
I am saying goodbye to Nicorette today. I want to really be free. Free from depending on substance to feel good. All I need is to be hooked on sweating. That's the only form of addiction.
I am very grateful I am not into booze. So 2019 is to shake off from all forms of dependencies.
2019 is my independence. At 55 I am truly free.
- Free from the cannabis, cigarettes and cunts
- Free from illness
- Free from debts
- Free from social constraints
- Free from unhealthy food
- Free from nonreciprocating relationships\
I should not see BJ and RR until Ramadan. By then I am 57 kg. I will be leading the pack in term of winning the game of health and happiness.
I want to be better than those people I interact with year in year out:
- My siblings
- My in-laws
- BJ & RR
- Munek & Zizi
- Zaki and Zailan
Being thin and healthy is the answer. It doesn't require a lot of money. What I have now is sufficient to be happy.
What's the point of having a lot of money but not healthy and happy? How many out there who is like that?
Remember, I am in the minority. I should not think like the majority. They are always wrong!
The majority chase after money. They do that because they think with more money they can buy more things. Those things won't make them happy. It is a hedonic adaptation trap. More and more expensive does not equate to happiness.
Thus it boils down on what is happiness really?
In my case happiness is to do things that I like without costing much money. It is also about being free to spend my time on things that I enjoy.
So if I break that down these are the components of my happiness:
- Doing things that I like
- Doesn't cost much money
- A lot of free time
Therefore to me happiness is about freedom and living below my means.
Those who are slogging for more money are the slaves to money. They are mentally stuck on what things to buy. People like Salleh and Rosli are actually slaves. In the final analysis, they are slaves to THINGS. I am definitely adopting the mentality of good enough is good enough. The midway is still the best. Live in moderation. Better still buy moderately priced goods like what I did with my phone and car. The new Casio G Shock is another example. Although it is an indulgence, I was still sensible in choosing a mid range model.
As for the phone and the car, I am absolutely happy with my decision. I had always been a smart buyer with the exception of buying earphones.
I guess the biggest waste this year is buying things for Els and the Evening Drive Crew. Other things are well justified. Then again that's part of appealing to my senses as a giver. I should feel good that I can still be generous.
I realized that there are things that I buy that I didn't use. Still the satisfaction is in the owning, like Sailbad the Sinner and the figurines.
The Under Armor sack pack is part of the acquisition utility. So is the yoga mat and the exercise towel. Eventually I'll use then all.
What is wasteful for me nowadays is to buy books. There are plenty I can get from Pirate Bay. Going to the movies is also wasteful.
I should make full use of the streaming movies. Just like books, movies are wasteful nowadays. So I'll watch the really good ones. That too should be on Wednesdays.
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Well, that it Sarah. Me and my microscopic world. Am I happy now? I certainly am. Yes indeed.
I live in gratitude and I live below my means. It certainly is the best year of my life. 2019 is the best year ever. Partly because I have money. No money is despairing.
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