20/10/19 ^^^Back to being alone

I however will continue to write to you Sarah although you are not real.

That way I have a third party perspective to my writing .

I want to get well.  That is my main intention.  Only I can decide if I am well again.  This is the lesson I get from John Nash.  Everybody falls but getting up is up to you.

I cannot rely on anybody else for my wellness.  In the past I relied on imaginary people as my crutches.  No more of that.

If it is to be then it is up to me.  Not Lizzie, not Brenda, not Sarah and not Els.

Money helps.  So in that sense, Munek is the most valuable value added companion.  Otherwise I am all alone in my crusade.

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Today I feasted like nobody's business.  I totally slaughtered today.  So tomorrow I start again with AHAD and OMAD.

Today's fuck is really a great fuck.  She has a nice pussy too.

So that experience will be a lifetime memory.  Superb ass rimming and toe sucking.

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I don't want to fuck anymore but a good fuck is really a therapy for loneliness.  I might do it again as a therapy instead of buying things.  I have enough things until 2022.

Why not I set a real exciting record?  Beside essentials like an Adidas perfume or a running shoes.  I stop buying things.  However I fuck once every 3 months.

What do you think Sarah?  Not that it matters.  I just want to make this entry conversational.

I think you will say that is a good idea.

You know Sarah, to make this interesting, from now on I will add my personal input as your response. That way it becomes less frustrating.

You are not real anyway.

Even if you are real, you are nothing more than an Unreal But Beautiful Princess.  You know what that means Sarah?  It means you are a figment of my imagination.  I don't know how you look like, I don't know your motive, I don't even know you are real and so I created an illusion.

That's how pathetic is this relationship.  I might as well fantasize a hot Jewish babe on the other side.  Oh why bother...

I am destined to be alone.  I might as well blast whatever thought that comes.

Maybe I am being dramatic.  Maybe there is a Sarah.  I am just playing with probability here.  In the end it's just me and this blog.

All I need is a feminine touch.  But really, today's fuck is the best fuck I ever had.  I was a good catch to her.  This girl is not the top of the line in terms of looks but boy, can she fuck.  I never had such a good fuck.

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