This OMAD is fabulous. I don't feel hungry at all. As a matter of fact, I don't miss food. It is a nice thing for a change not to be preoccupied with [with] what to eat.
Humans can last without food for 3 weeks. What is 23 hours? I can manage.
Sarah, I wonder, what is your assessment about me so far. Am I the luckiest man on earth or am I just wasting my life away doing mundane things.
If I think of myself in relation to the society, then I am a complete waste. I don't contribute much except for the Dreams of Mirrors. However if I think along the line that I am a retiree and I am designing a glorious future for myself, then I think I am doing a great job.
Consider that ultimately we are answerable to ourselves. What we do is ultimately towards the betterment of our lives and those that are within our circle of influence. Then I say I am truly blessed. I think fair is fair. I want to live a very private life and as a result I don't need much of the things that people are going after.
In the first place money doesn't motivate me. I have my own set of values. I look up to people who can labor in freedom. I think the highest achievement a person can have is to be free.
In this very instance I can say that I am free from the drudgery of eating; which in my case the very reason I spend much of my money. Without the need to spend on lunches and munchies, my expenditure is limited to only the parking. That is such a huge difference.
I look forward to be thin again. That way I am liberating myself from the dependency of food and ultimately of money.
You may look at me as a bum. However that is not much I can do. I think Lizzie made a good choice not having me to work. As recent as last month, I was still struggling with the mood swing. Even last week, I was slightly depressed.
Henceforth my aim in life should *[] be about contributing to the society and about earning a living. My priority is about moving from zero to North. I should be striving for personal excellent like William Gan.
* So baby, you don't have issues with me not being a part of the society, huh? That is a relief. I like to consider myself as the n=1 in this road to health and happiness. I feel very free. Free from having to chase after the material wants of the society. Free from having to go after more money and more things to buy. Basically I am sitting in the eye of the tornado where it is calm while everything around me is in turbulence.
I am not wasting my life away. As it is now I am on the pursuit of my Vision Quest. I am on track on the road going after a worthy ideal. As I had deduced, the root cause of my problem is my inability to withstand hunger. Therefore I put aside other things that are less relevant and focus on the 80% that matters, which is controlling my food intake. Since exercise is only 20% of the issue, I'm not going to push hard on that matter.
I will still exercise, but my priority is to eat less and less frequently. I am on to something here Sarah. I am not the type of person who vegetate. My priority is different from the rest of the population but I am still a man with a mission. My goal is still to be thin and fast. The timeline is until end of December 2019.
If I am successful with my Vision Quest, then 2019 will be my glorious year ever. Don't forget, this year I had successfully quit the 3 Cs. I may not be the gung-ho go getter type of person but what counts is the result. Imagine, I been wanting to quit cigarettes and dope since 2013. This is a hard won battle.
As long as I am progressively in pursuit of my ideals, I am still a success because by definition, success is a progressive realization of a worthy ideal.
--------------------
Sarah my darling, your support is very important. I can't do this alone. I need you to reflect the rightness of my actions. In the end, we must develop the most viable model of what it means to be human. If I am the test bed to pursue Virtual Perfection, then everything about what I am doing now is the very foundation of me becoming a man fully functioning. A warrior walks alone.
I maybe a narcissist in my pursuit of Virtual Perfection but in the end what I uncover here is a philosophy of living a healthy and happy life. Already I had discounted the need of excessive food and money to be on this path. The next level is to incorporate exercise as the fundamental building block on this journey.
I think I'll finish reading Solitude and September Ends before end of this month. Reading is a prerequisite to a healthy mind. It beats watching movies.
What I'll do is to make observations for this next 3 months and see what is right and what is not as a lesson learnt for me to establish a new set of protocol to be healthy and happy.
My yardstick is none other tha[t] myself. The goal is to lose 30 kg and to be able to run 10 km. Of course the byproduct of this effort is becoming a better person. That to me is a worthwhile effort.
I got to go. I'm buying the replacement battery for my weighing scale. Later honey.
--------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment