7/10/19 ***I don't think I can do this isolation thing

It's been a depressing week for me.  I don't think I can do the 3 months isolation.

I'm calling it off.

I need to retrace back my steps.  I start to have a panic attack.  Suddenly I have this fear that I will lose you and I will be all alone.

I hate the feeling that I am just an ordinary person.  Worse, with a history of mental illness.

Unfortunately, as the hypomania subsided, it tends to dip into depression.  That's what I am feeling right now.  I have the feeling that I am being abandoned.

This is a crazy illness.  One day you are high and mighty, the next day you are at the bottom of the pit.  Currently the comfort is sugary and sweet stuff.

I need to fight this.

Let's be objective.  These are variables I can control:

• Sleep
• Exercise
• Food
• Ambiance
• Quality input

Let's push the depression limit.  For the whole week next week let's not have any Nicorette and sugar.

I better sleep.  

This is your lullaby:

Goodnight baby...

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