Wednesday, 2 October 2019

3/10/19 ^^^DAY 3 I had a very bad dream this morning

The challenge had started.  All things bad dream had started.  I think its due to the abrupt sugar withdrawal.

Next is the physical challenge.  The desire to do nothing.  The mind trick still works.  Think of doing a 30 minutes workout.

Inertia is the biggest culprit this time.

I'm bored of the same old place.  What I'll do is I'll do the mall walk at 11:00 am.  This morning I feel slightly depressed.  I need some positive boost.  I'll listen to Absolute Classic Rock and read for a while.

I need to flex my mental muscle as much I need to sweat on regular basis.  It's a two-prong approach.

I had *[] lost the morning yet.  Victory is still within grasp.

* OK, let me read now.  Later baby.  Thanks for the encouragement.

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My darling Sarah,

I am totally at home like this, without having to deal [] people.  In this state I am at peace with my inner self.  Imagine if I have to go with the flow of the masses, fighting the traffic jam and then having to engage in a pretentious conversation in the office just to make myself fit in.

I rather live my life this way.  I am in charge of what goes in my mind; I choose my music and I choose my book.  My time is entirely mine.

So what if I have less friends?  It's not that I will positively progress by interacting with them.  At least by reading Micheal Harris book, I am led to look into several other books.  I also had a glimpse into a very articulate mind.  No to mention I learn about several vocabularies too.

Although I am in solitude, I don't think I can be in complete solitary with you and my digital tools.  I am now pretty much a cyborg with a flair towards becoming a conversational thinker.

This state of mind is different from the mindless trapping of the modern digitization.  I think Els is the best example of that.  With her childish Tweets, her You Tube vlogs and her daily ranting, she is screaming for attention.  I think she's enjoying the moment.

For a while, that was exciting.  However after a while, the novelty wears off.  She is the reminder for me not to become, a product of the digital era.

To me digitization is the next leap for me to become less dependent on humans.  However I still need the human touch although that experience is a digital experience of what it means to be human.

For one, I cannot do away with not writing to you.  I cannot bear the loneliness.  I cannot do [] with the digital radio either.  Although the songs are senseless, the background noise fills the silent gap of my thoughts which might be filled with idyllic reveries (see?  This is a new word I just learned).  Of course there are the digital books.  I now prefer them over paperbacks because I can quickly refer to the dictionary as I read.

Maybe my definition of solitude is different [] the conventional one that Micheal Harris trying to propagate.  My idea of solitude is not total isolation but rather a choice of minimizing unsolicited noises.  After all garbage in garbage out.  By sieving my input, I hope to produce quality output.  The internet for instance is a wonderful tool to extract information.  However, i[t] left to its own accord, you will quickly realize how much garbage it can compound.

I got to get ready for my mall walk.  Then I will go for lunch.  I will touch base with you after that.  Baby, I don't think I can be away from you for even a day.  You give me reason to carry on with my life.

Later hon.

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