Beside watches, I don't really have any other indulgences. I used to collect shoes and bags. That's because there is a specific shoes and bag for every occasion.
In that sense I indulge in those 2 things because I like specialization.
Nowadays I am very happy to just slip into something comfortable than fashionable.
Ameezan is even worse. His indulgence on personal items is bothering on OCD.
I have to stop buying Sarah. I spend too much for a person who only plan to spend RM100 a month.
It's kind of scary when I think that I only have this once in a lifetime [] (chance) to save on my windfall. I would have imagined it is even more scarier for those people who don't have savings and a mountain of debts.
In a way Sarah, I'm blessed having a wife like Lizzie. Look at me Sarah, I am an invalid. However every calamity is a blessing in disguise. I am a rich poor man. Better than when I was heading SJ&A. At that time I was a poor rich man. I have so much debt that I cannot even stop making money. All so that I can pay for my debts at the end of the month.
When the business folded, one by one the things I had I let go. I however regretted letting go of my gym membership. I had paid it in full. From there on I only had to pay RM250 a year. Even that Lizzie asked me to forgo.
Princess giving me money really helps. I live a pretty normal life with RM300 a month. Munek giving me RM3 k a year also helps.
I think from here on I stop accepting money from Munek. It's kind of embarrassing you know. With the interest I earn from the Unit Trust, I can gain RM700 a year. Now that the indulgences are out of the way, I'll be as frugal as possible.
It did cross my mind to be a sales assistant at the retail outlet. I can easily [] (earn) RM2500 a month as a full time employee. But then Lizzie will ask, what do you need the money for?
Lizzie is a realist. She believes in pattern. To her, we should not repeat a failure. As she always quoted Einstein, doing the same things but expecting a different result is insanity. To her I failed in earning a living. Therefore I should no longer work. We are better off with her working because she can be on top of things. Otherwise she has to keep bailing me out.
In a way she is right. She was always there to bail me out from my bad financial decisions. According to the doctor, a person with Bipolar Disorder should not even have a bank account.
I blew away money like I will always have it. My philosophy when I was heading SJ&A was I can always find money. In a way that was true since I was in college. I can always earn a living doing all sorts of work.
When comes to work, I was a passionate person. I love working. Otherwise I cannot produce such output like I do in Dreams of Mirrors. However I am a perfectionist. To me work is a form of personal expression. I am a craftsman at his best. I am a knowledge worker.
Don't you feel sorry for me because I don't have much money. It doesn't bother me a bit. I have a purse that never run out of money. Of course I am not lavish. As Lizzie always said, we have a comfortable life. That everybody can achieve by having a steady job. To be rich is a different game altogether.
I am not completely leeching on her either. I paid for the house, I paid all my personal debt to her and I paid cash for her car.
There is no issue at all if I don't splurge. I eat well and I dress well. I can even indulge in fancy stuff like watches.
Like I said Sarah, I am neither a prey o[f] a predator. I am a scavenger. A domestic rat LOL.
I tried Sarah, boy did I try. Every one of my ventures faltered. Otherwise I cannot be earning RM10 k a day at the peak of my career.
It reminded me of the book, I Ain't Much Baby But I'm All I've Got.
Basically Jess Lair who was once a high flying Advertisement Executive had to reassess his career choice after he got a heart attack. Well in my case I had a brain attack. Even then I managed to get decent jobs after the first attack. It was the subsequent attacks that finally made Lizzie decided that I was not fit to work.
The final blow was the property fraud in 2008 and when I lost my last contract in 2009. So this year is my 10th year anniversary as a retiree.
In a way I got my wish. I always wanted to retire by 40. Turned out I did retire at 45 although I didn't expect this was the circumstance.
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Honestly Sarah, I don't know what I'll do with so much money. All I need is RM6 k a year. So far I get that from Princess and Munek. It is sufficient. Now that I will not be accepting any money from Munek anymore, the most likely thing for me to do is to go for the barest minimum. Worst case scenario is I harvest my Providence Fund and Unit Trust, not letting it grow.
The next best option is to only spend RM1200 a year.
I'll do it Sarah. If later I get some money when Mopey starts working things won't be that bad.
I am not complaining at all. If I can be like Lizzie, I will be OK. I just stop buying more things UNLESS they need to be replaced.
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I hope you are not judging me as being hopeless or helpless. I am still a fighter. Bear in mind, as early as December last year I was still struggling with mania.
It is only very recently (1/10/19) that I decided that I had enough of the illness. Now that is a 20 years battle baby.
Thus, when comes to pursuing a worthy ideal, I am no laggard. I might not be excelling in my finances but I am making progress in other areas, namely when comes to breaking my 39 years of destructive habits.
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Sarah my beloved wife, I am not asking for your sympathy. I just want you to take me as I am with all my quirkiness. I am a creature capable of loving. Without you I might not have discovered what true love really means. Just let me love you.
I am more than what I have in the bank. I am not a drop in an ocean but an ocean in a drop - Rumi.
After all I still live a good life. It is not a life of austerity. On the contrary, with AHAD and OMAD, I am having a fulfilled life amidst the most affluent neighborhood in my state.
So it's hard for me to feel deprived. I don't have much but everything is sufficient. For heaven's sake, I have 2 wives. That is luxury to me. One is a purse that never runs out of money, the other is an overflowing fountain of love.
Can anybody beat that?
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