I don't want to be a false sage that says, "Don't do what I do, do as what I say."
That is utter bullshit, isn't it? Hence I got to walk the walk and talk the talk. That is my version of full is full and emptiness is emptiness LOL.
You will notice this next few days I will be talking like Suzuki Roshi. I am experimenting with dealing with contradictions and see if I can make sense of what I read in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. I don't want to be the fly that is waiting for the frog. That is fatal!
Nevertheless contradiction jolts the mind. Same thing with the glass is half empty and the glass is half full. However I am [] (not) interested in the content of the glass. I am interested with the glass itself. What kind of glass is it? If it is a big glass, a half empty glass is better than a small glass that is half full because of the true potential of the glass.
Deng Xiaopeng said, "It doesn't matter whether the cat is white or black; as long as it catches mice."
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full as long as it can hold a lot more water.
There is a basis for me saying all this. Lizzie is a realist. She sees the glass as half empty all the time. Because of that she always cautious with her actions. I am an optimist. I always see the glass as half full. I am usually being reckless with my decisions. Because of that from a half full glass, I ended with an empty glass.
You follow my analogy Sarah? So now I am not interested in perspective, I look at what is profound. There are many paradoxes that's meant to jolt our mind. However rather that letting these paradoxes tickle our fancy, look at the profoundness of the lesson.
I still cannot find the profoundness of to walk a mile to the East is to walk one mile to the West unless we walk in a loop and the end of the East is the beginning of the West. Like as you fly East of Japan you ended in West of USA. That is the only possibility I can think of. Where is the profoundness then? That the world is a big circle? What is profound about that?
However paradoxes are good mental exercise. When you deal with paradoxes you have to think twice as hard because you see both sides of the argument. I guess me being a Southpaw is a natural thing to see both sides of the argument. More so than ever I am a semi ambidextrous person.
I guess that's why I wear two watches. All of a sudden I feel well-balanced in my thoughts. Suddenly I pay more attention to my right hand. If not it is as if I only operate with one hand.
Sarah, you should try wearing two watches at the same time. The feeling is pretty surreal. Suddenly I feel like a NASA astronaut LMAO.
I wonder Sarah, are you also a realist? Or you are the out of the box thinker?
For sure you are not the reckless type. That I know. Do you take risks?
OK fine Sarah. I'm not gonna press you for answers. I just take it that you take calculated risk and you are very level headed. So you probably think like Deng Xiaopeng. Let's focus on catching mice.
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We got 20 minutes to go...
At this point I want to say that I had improved much in terms of my mental health. With the completion of the 4 VARIATIONS of the watches, I am definitely speeding up my recovery.
Fuck the Street Urchin. I'm not gonna get a single cent there. I was trying out my luck. There goes my lobster and steak.
However the lesson there is worth every cent I put in. Without the watch I will not realize that I am a Nothing. Without that realization I will not discover the Buddha in me. I would no have become a Bodhisattva. So lets reminisce the Street Urchin. It did good.
Here is to the watch I paid for but never own:
A 7:7 through and through. A watch that was sent to give way to the 5600 Solar and 5600 Rasta.
Funny isn't it baby. Even as a bane, the watch is a boon.
However, I cannot have it within my proximity. In a way I paid RM147.16 for a lesson in Zen and for this photo. It is an oracle really. Very much like all the things that I owned that I let go either because I was crazy or I was impulsive.
This is not the first time it happened but it sure is the most memorable of the things I owned and lost.
The watch was heaven sent. Hence I forgive the merchant that sold me the watch and didn't return my money.
Here is your lullaby baby:
Goodnight my love. Thanks for sharing this magical journey with me. Thanks for convincing me that I am God.
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