I used to be a chain smoker. Now I am a chain gum chewer. I still didn't get rid of the Nicorette. However I managed to not chew any until it was 8:30 pm.
Nothing can be better than tonight. I think I'll wear 4 watches at a go and see how that will effect my thoughts.
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I am now wearing the ARMY VARIATION on my left and the COVERT MISSION VARIATION on my right.
The first thing that comes to mind is that I am easily influenced by the company that I keep.
In the past I was a pothead because I hang out with potheads. It's not their fault really. Whatever the mind focuses on expands. I was looking for an escape route. I was looking for something pleasurable to take me away from the responsibility that I carry.
Yes, I had a dark side that cannot be tamed:
- I smoked a lot
- I took drugs
- I indulged in food
- I fucked hookers
Hmmm... Speaking of that my sins are actually cigarettes, cannabis, carbs and cunts. It is actually FOUR Cs as I suspected.
So what if I forgo all that and just keep one vice? Which is chewing Nicorettes? What I'll do is I rationed my consumption to only 3 in the night, when I want to wind down. After all I don't want to destroy my microbiome.
I got to fight carbs head on. That's the priority now. The battle is still on. I will focus on one battlefield at the time. Meanwhile I recruit Nicorette as my militia. I am on a winning streak here. I have to accept that until I win this battle, it will be pointless to forgo nicotine. This is a microscopic war. It happens in the Universe Within.
The closing remark is doesn't mean something is safer, it is safe.
The lesson here is to use Nicorette in moderation. Nicotine increase dopamine by 200%.
I know for sure that if I stop the medication, I can quit smoking. I can run too. The medication is prohibiting my brain to regulate my own neurotransmitters.
There is a book I should read before I meet Dr Amarpreet; Your Drug May Be Your Problem by Peter R. Breggin.
I cannot get the EPUB version. I just make do with the PDF version.
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It is still too soon to tell the doctor that I want to be off medication. I need to prove myself first before I can convince her I don't need the medication. I have another 2 years before Lizzie retires. That is the window I should be working on.
In the meantime, I will completely avoid smoking cigarette and dope.
For every year I am on a drug I need 1 month to recover. That means for the 39 years I was dependent on nicotine I need 3 years to completely be off the hook.
I had been taking peliperidone jab since 2014. That's already 5 years. I need 5 months to withdraw from it.
Thank goodness I skip lithium carbonate.
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As long as I chew Nicorette, overweight, have gout and on medication, I am not normal. My priority is to get well.
That is what Statute of David 2022 project is all about. That is another 3 years to go.
Remember that I am only improving beginning 1/10/19. Last year I was still a mess.
Dr Kasmini Kassim of Damansara Specialist Center said that the illness will go away as we get older.
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This isolation exercise is very therapeutic. I solved the biggest issue, not smoking cigarettes. Next is not smoking dope. I should also stop illicit sex and eating carbs.
FROM NOW ON IT IS 4 Cs.
I should stay away from these people:
- Muru
- Sashi
- Glen
- BJ
- RR
- Ameezan
- Jad
- Coconut Man
- Amoi
- Munek
Keep being in isolation. I save money and I am improving my health.
Once I start running, I am home free. I can always enjoy myself by exercising, reading and writing.
I must find a way to remain in isolation.
At the same time continue with the Ockham's Razor. Keep simplifying. No more superlatives.
No more External Affairs either. By December I will implement the Mini Emperor's Routine. So far AHAD works. I am more consistent than trying to do too many things at once.
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Actually I am a very average person. I have the problems common people have; health, financial, marital and matters regarding faith. How can I be any special?
Perhaps the thing that makes me special is I had discovered ways to solve my problems. What I need to do is to develop a higher order thinking skill to attain my goals.
There will always be obstacles. I am not living in a perfect world.
Certainly I am not a messiah. Tony Robbins did a better job in helping others solve their problems and yet he doesn't consider himself a messiah. He wrote the second thickest book in my collection and yet he just labeled himself as a Life Coach.
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I need to get rid of the grandiose thoughts. If John Nash can do it, so can I. Otherwise I will be as crazy if not crazier than BJ.
Now I think about it I think BJ is crazy. He entered 50 km and 80 km races without even able to complete 42 km. The last one was DNF at 12 km.
He bought a piece of land in the middle of nowhere and wanted to build a house out of bamboo and self-sustain himself by raising his own crops.
Let's look at his ideal home:
This is his version of Illusion of Grandiose. This is what [] (dope) do to a person.
His wife didn't buy the idea. I think he will end up at best with this:
He is 58 this year. This is an example of a person without the higher order thinking skill.
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Let's not dwell in BJ's problem. Let's think about running a Half Marathon in 2020.
I'll be running on Friday, 4th September 2020 on my 56th birthday. That is about 10 months down the road.
Time surely flies. I got to step up with my routine. This is already the 3rd week of November. I cannot slack. One more week and November will be gone.
I need to start the Mini Emperor's Routine by December. The gout is gone. Now to get the dopamine pumped. Looks like I need to slowly taper off Nicorette.
I have to do it. Otherwise I am dependent on nicotine for life.
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OK, 32 minutes to go. Let's wrap this up.
Basically I got to keep on doing what I am doing right now. I am on the right track. I have a few challenges which I need to overcome:
- No more TraXX except Sound Journey once a week when I cannot sleep
- Keep insisting on AHAD and OMAD
- Nicorette gotta go by December
- I will have to deal with depression for the whole month of December
- Weight must hit 79 kg by January 2020
- No meeting people that I mentioned above until Ramadan
- NO MORE 4 Cs. Carbs is still a major issue
I gotta sleep. I am so mentally exhausted from this late night excursion.
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