The 1 hour mall walk cured the urge to smoke pot. Basically I was low in dopamine this morning. Damn, everything we do is influenced by the neurotransmitters.
I am Bipolar mainly because I am a clinically depressed person. That is caused by dopamine depletion. When that happens I have the urge to smoke pot and cigarettes. Knowing this, I need to improve the balance of chemicals in my body.
Dope is a form of self medication. However I don't know how to control the dose. Therefore I ended being schizophrenic. Or worse I become psychotic.
Hence I need to be mindful of what I eat. Certainly I cannot eat sugar and starch. The quick remedy is the Pornhub and a cold shower. Other than that I should sweat. With the Mall Walk I can exercise anytime. It doesn't have to be early in the morning like today.
I must avoid poison at all costs. I need to be true to my cause. This is already 2019. I need to draw a line. I'd been wanting to quit dope and cigarette since 2012. This is the defining moment. Only when I win over dope and cigarette will I be able to quit sugar and starch.
I need to be able to run far and fast. I need to mend my contaminated lung. I cannot follow BJ. He is a junkie. He cannot quit. He cannot even quit cigarette. 60 is the defining age. That is another 5 years to go. This year is FIFTEEN YEARS since I ran my marathon. Still I want to make a comeback in life.
I should be putting up a fight rather than letting my life slide. I don't want to end up like Jad who is a junkie for life. I am better than him. I am even better than RR who is a smoker.
My benchmark are people like Radzi and Ameezan. If I want to move north from where I am now I got to beat these two. Not to revert being a pothead.
After all, dope makes me crazy. I don't want to be crazy anymore. Let's close the 20 years chapter for good.
Let's establish point zero and move from there. BJ and RR are losers. It is not measured by the amount of money a person have. A loser is a person who cannot have a grip of his life. I should not fall into the trap of self-destruction. I had gone far to make it to this point.
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