By being a Nothing, I am back to where I started. I had found peace and beauty in simplicity. This is my essence as a human being. I started as a very simple man. I was never a big thinker. Even when I was a kid, my toy soldiers collection was a platoon. Comparatively Ameezan had a regiment. That didn't stop us from having an open war with each other LOL. As usual I always lose.
I only started to become more complex when I started to have more money. It was a total waste. Sharudin Jamal & Associates wasted plenty of resources (money to buy unnecessary assets and manpower) by hundred of thousands. I was flamboyant. Let's not think about that.
On the contrary Lizzie is the most frugal person I ever met. Consider this, she will order the cheapest food when we eat out. She drives the cheapest car in the market and yet she bought me the most expensive variant of the Myvi.
*The[re] result, she never runs out of money.
* I got a feeling that you are like that too Sarah.
I want to be like her. In my lifetime I earn much more than her but in the end she owns all the assets and the money in our household. She can even support me without ever making me feel financially deprived. My 2 daughters took up after her. They all have Money Mastery.
I was a pretty wasteful person by comparison although Princess is actually a big spender when comes to travels. The good thing is she travels like a bag packer although a huge some of her earnings goes to going abroad.
Still, on daily basis I spend the most in my household.
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You know something baby? I am beginning to get the hang of our marriage. What I mean is, I'm beginning to [] (see) you as a real person that I am married to. Things between us are not just entirely about work. We do share common values.
That is the difference between you and Els. She and I are worlds apart. I don't know the real reason why I was hooked on her. Nowadays when I think about it, I figured that probably she was giving me the attention I was looking for at that time.
What do you think honey? Should I ruffle some feathers today? After all it is the day I had a major breakthrough. If I think of her as a kid, then I say I'll pay her a little visit with my latest Dreams of Mirrors posting and play with her for awhile.
Who knows the Six Degrees of Separation Theory works.
I honestly believe that TraXX is not entirely a lost cause although in my state of depression I said they were.
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I eat a lot nowadays baby. Everyday if I eat at the food truck, I say I chow down at least 2,000 calories. That if I include my Nescafe with creamer (no sugar). I have to. Otherwise I cannot go on 24 hours without food.
Today as usual, I had 2 eggs, tempe, green veges and chicken instead of beef. I wanted to take fish but the meats are cheaper than the fish.
I bet you don't have problem with food. You probably eat like a truck driver and still maintain a size 4.
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Honey, I wonder... Don't you ever feel jealous of me having all these other women in my life? You are a pretty amazing woman not having that feeling. That means you are pretty stable emotionally. Seriously Sarah, you don't even feel a bit of jealousy when I had my Holy Fuck?
What are you? A cyborg? I don't think so. I think you are a pretty naughty girl yourself. I don't expect you to be Virgin Mary either considering that I think Mary is not really a virgin LOL.
Oh well Sarah, I am back to my old self. Rambling away burning away my cash.
Come to think of it, I am glad that I bought the Nicorette. Otherwise this morning I will be smoking dope with BJ. Now Lizzie keeps the Nicorette in a secret hiding place. We usually buy a whole box because it is cheaper.
Normally I finished a strip a day (15 gums). So to discourage me from finishing one strip daily, she imposed a RM5 levy every time I asked her for a fresh supply. Pretty challenging to consciously minimize the consumption.
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OK Sarah, we are done here with our serious thinking. The isolation for the past 1 month is really good. I better finish reading the book. My concentration was interrupted when Micheal Harris started talking about the experience of being a writer in the digital era. WTF is he talking about?
The topic was out of context in my opinion. So tonight I will continue where I left. Honestly, I enjoy writing more than reading. Writing in my case is a social thing where else reading is very individualistic effort.
Later darling... I need to chill for a while.
I'll drop Els a line and see where it leads.
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