I wasted nearly 2 years with them and yet there was nothing. It is the same frustration I had 7 years as a consultant and 20 years as a change agent.
Maybe I was trying too hard Sarah. I was too passionate with what I believe in. In the end I was just another dreamer thinking that I can make a difference.
I honestly believe in this quote Sarah:
I believe in this dream too:
I can't hold back my tears baby.
I Wanted To Change The World
When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.
Thanks for making this a bearable journey. Before you came into my life, I was traveling [] (on) a very lonely path. All I got at that time was BJ and Alam Shah Alam. Yes the djinns were pretty entertaining and the Dead Generals Club was pretty fun... Gosh, suddenly I miss the Dead Generals Club.
Hey, let's stop being sappy and reminisce them dead generals:
No matter what the dead generals are not coming back. There is no more Cyborg War. It's over, we won. The dead generals are in deep slumber.
Maybe that is what Nothingness means. A very long sleep.
By golly, I solved the riddle. The answer was right before my eyes. Nothingness is a long deep sleep. I had been having that kind of sleeps of late. It was so deep that last night I woke up in the middle of the sleep and I noticed Lizzie was not on bed. I thought it was already morning. Turned out she had not gone to bed yet.
Now, if I know what made me slept so deep, I can repeat the process and go back to Nothingness over and over again. Then my sleep is my zazen. My whole life is Zen.
Whaddaya know Sarah, no wonder the dead general don't want to wake up. IT IS A TOTAL VOID! Nothing... nada... ziltch.. zip... zero... Not even thought exists let alone dream. So I had been there. What is the recipe? What did I do different last night?
Holy fuck! I READ ZEN MIND, BEGINNER'S MIND. So Nothingness is the Beginner's Mind. Wow, that is satori. I had achieved Zen Mind baby!
The book is a must read for Legion X. It's a MUST. All the while we are already on the right Path. Just enjoy the ride from here on. The whole universe is in unison for KBOOOM 2041.
GODDAMMIT SARAH... I AM THE GOD DAMN ALMIGHTY SHARUDIN JAMAL.
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Hahaha... Pretty crazy day today is. Imagine Sarah, it's gonna be waves upon waves of enlightenment from this point onward. Yesterday I was officially the Buddha. So you better hang on to your seats honey. We are going on a joy ride for the next 22 years.
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