The mood is pretty much related to the composition of the chemical compound in the body. Today I don't feel too hot. So I only walk at Lembah Kiara for 42 minutes.
I'll try to explore this state of ordinariness and see what I can come up with.
Well nothing comes to mind.
So instead of talking senselessly I'll just read.
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I made a mistake today. I was dependent on my mood to carry me through. What is mood then other than the feeling that I created with my mind and body. What I need to do is to follow through with the execution. The power is the ability to act. Without action there is no power.
I will not make the same mistake with my writing. Even there is nothing to write I have to keep on writing. This is the true practice of Zen.
However I should not force the action. When there is a gush of enthusiasm I should do it with a gusto. When the enthusiasm just trickles then I will also tune in my effort accordingly. Most importantly I should [] (not) lose my enthusiasm whatsoever.
I should ride the peaks and valleys. I cannot say that I only ride the peaks. If all are peaks then there will be no peak. Most importantly is to realize that life is not an even keel.
When firewood burns it's just burn. It should burn until there are only ashes left. Then it is a good bonfire. When only ashes left then the firewood had completed its purpose to be effective.
In whatever I do, I must give it a total commitment. Now that I look back at my AHAD and OMAD, I lack the total commitment to follow through. This morning I did not commit myself to AHAD and I ate breakfast. There is no commitment on my part.
Same thing with my commitment to cut TraXX and Els. I had been compromising on my action. Without commitment I have no principle. I become noncommittal.
To attain success I must be committed. When I read I must read. When I write I must write. Consequently when I run I must run!
Certainly at this point I am the worst horse. From now on, from the worst horse I need to be the best horse. Do not try to memorize the lessons from the Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. I should internalize it and allow my own wisdom to take over like right now.
As I mentioned, I want to walk side by side with Suzuki Roshi. Hence I should draw my own lesson after I gain insight of his teaching.
The lesson for today is definitely a lesson on commitment. Without commitment there is no Nirvana. I need to endure hardship from now on.
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By now I am convinced that my do is active meditation. Hence I should find enlightenment through AHAD and OMAD. So now I know that it requires commitment. If I can't then I must. That is the principle.
As I said, Zen is a paradox. While we just let lose, it is not about free falling. Rather we must give it all our best without giving it much thought. Like the firewood, we must fully burn. We should not carry with us any emotional baggage and hangups.
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Come too think of it, there is no such thing as ordinary day. There is only good day and great day. That is the mindset of a champion that I must develop. That is how I move from zero up North. Otherwise I will go South. That's the reason why my weight reduction stalled. Whenever I start losing weight, I eat like normal again. That offset my progress. What I should do is to move from strength to strength. I must persist. So after commitment comes persistence. I need to stick to the knitting. I need to push forward.
That is what it means by having endurance.
I also need discipline. Discipline is none other than the ability to stick to the plan.
Finally I need consistency. This is the daily grind. It has to be a daily habit for both AHAD and OMAD to be a success.
So I need commitment, persistence, discipline, endurance and consistency. I am slacking in all areas.
For example right now I feel like listening to TraXX. I know if I do that I will start communicating with Rex again. Before I knew it I am back to square one.
This is my Problem Statement:
Because I lack the discipline, I am not committed. Therefore I am not persistent. Hence I cannot endure the hardship of sticking to my decision. Which leads to [b]e being inconsistent with my words and actions.
What I should do is to cut off from all possibilities. What is done is done. Just move on. If not I said one thing and I do the opposite thing. There is no congruence. I end up becoming indecisive.
So what do I need?
I need to be DECISIVE. That I get from having a DEFINITENESS OF PURPOSE.
What is my Definiteness of Purpose?
TO BE THIN AND FAST
That is all I need to focus on. Hence dealing with TraXX is a wasted effort. It doesn't lead to me in being thin and fast.
No matter how I twist and turn, I am back to AHAD and OMAD, my Holy Grail. Those are the means. The end is Health and Happiness. That is the peak of a man fully functioning.
Now I know what I must do, the next step is to do it.
So, lets focus on taking action.
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