The real meaning is I had been duped. That's about it. Now is to do damage control. I will go to Bukit Jelutong and get my money back. That's about it.
Is there a lesson in this whole experience? Well certainly there is. If the deal is too good, get out of the way.
Anyway, Monday I straighten it out.
I guess the real lesson is not to be idealistic with my thoughts. I am nobody special. I got conned and my numbers don't mean a thing.
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This is the same with my experience dealing with Els. I proved that our numbers are aligned. Turned out they were nothing.
Same with this experience. There is nothing special with the numbers. I was conned out of RM147 and I am going to get my money back.
I dare say there is nothing magical about the whole experience. It will be a huge difference if I get a good deal with the imitation (the time is accurate). It seems everything is wrong here.
The only right thing that comes out of this is I bought the 5600 Solar. And if everything goes as plan, I'll get the "Rasta" for an extra RM100 (topping up from the refund).
Otherwise I wasted RM147. That is one Red Lobster Sea Food Platter. That's a lot of money for me. So much so I am willing to go through the trouble going to Bukit Jelutong to get my money back. An excuse for [b]e to travel out of my 10 km radius.
What will be a worthwhile explanation to the whole thing? Actually the whole experience is pointing out to the 5600 Solar. That is the real value.
Another valuable lesson is there is no magic in numbers. They are random events unless there is something significant about the Street Urchin. Is there a lesson somewhere that I missed?
I guess the biggest lesson of them all is my whole life is pretty ordinary. There is nothing special in my numbers.
Well I shall follow the argument to where it leads. I shall get my refund. Then I'll buy the "Rasta". From then on I spend less than RM100 a month.
All I can say is from now on I will no longer trust any form of patternicity. I am just an average man, living on an average planet revolving around an average star.
That is my meaning to this whole experience unless there is a greater meaning it. I doubt it much.
Thus in the end, our lives is the meaning we give to it. There is nothing special about us. When we die we become worm feed.
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Here is the harsh reality. Without the stimulants and the substance to alter the chemical composition in our body, we are pretty ordinary being.
I like to think I am special. The truth is I am nobody special at all. I am a man in pursue of a worthy ideal. Along the way I assign meanings to those things I adopted as my belief system.
I like to think I am God and soar with my imagination. These are just my thoughts in motion. It only applies to me. I believe I am God because I assign meanings to the events around me. The truth is I am nothing more than the product of one life cycle; the cycle of birth, growth, decline and death.
This imitation watch made me realized that. Therefore I will get my refund on Monday. I[t] I don't even get my money, then at least I can say that the money is to pay for these lessons:
- I am nothing more than who I think I am
- There is nothing magical about my life. I am just another average person
- All this while the meaning I get from my experience is the meaning I give to it
- I am an insignificant being experiencing a magical moment because I become who I think about
- We become giants or dwarfs namely through our thought.
If I am younger, I say to be righteous is to master mathematics. Now, since I am an aging man, living a righteous life here means living a life of truth as much as possible.
What is the ultimate truth then? The answer lies in the numbers, in mathematics. The ultimate truth then is the final answer. It is back to where we started. The final answer is ZERO. We all are Nothing. As much as we want to plan for our future, the final destination is we all going [] (to) die. Then when we die, everything ends.
This is the ultimate realization I have about my life. I am a Nothing. I might as well enjoy the "Rasta" once I return back the Street Urchin because that is what it's meant to be. That is the rewards that I get from these whole life experience. When I die I am a Nothing.
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Since I will be a Nothing, I might as well enjoy my life. I might as well get the "Rasta" regardless if I get the refund or not. That a good watch. That is my only rationalization.
So what if I have less money to save? The main thing is I enjoy my life.
Of course I won't splurge. However I will not refrain myself either. I want to enjoy being alive.
What will be a good indicator that I live a quality life?
- I complete my watch collection ONCE AND FOR ALL
- I spend RM100 a month max
- I can exercise every day
- I am thin and healthy
- I eat my [my] heart out once a day
- I have no debts
- I save RM200 a month
- I sleep well every night
- I have access to WiFi
- I no longer need to buy things more or more expensive
- I embrace Voluntary Simplicity
In another word, I keep things as simple as possible.
The ultimate answer in my life is KEEP IS SIMPLE SHARUDIN!
I can have the most complex thought ever but when comes to execution, I have to KISS.
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This realization will not be complete without me reinforcing my thoughts on the things I love the most; my watches.
Therefore this is the final formation until death do us apart:
THE MILITARY VARIATION
THE COVERT MISSION VARIATION
THE SPECIAL OPS VARIATION
THE CITIZEN SOLDIER VARIATION
Therefore my ultimate joy is in living through these 4 Meta Models with 4 VARIATIONS of watches. I cannot have an impostor penetrating my sacred altar. With these watches I am creating a world that I believe in. Through the beliefs I create meaning to my life.
Hence the watches must represent who I am. The impostor have no place in this whole sphere of consciousness. I got to send it back.
Even if I cannot get a refund, I will not entertain the thought of having an imitation watch. I'll give it away if I have to but definitely I will not let it occupy my personal space.
For what ever reason, I should not deal with imitations. Just like I got rid of ALL the imitation Polo shirts Ameezan gave to me. I rather wear a RM50 original shirt than an imitation . I still have 5 imitation though. No more buying imitations.
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In conclusion, I will stop believing that my numbers are special or I am special. I just focus on becoming man fully functioning. Then when I die, I will cease to exist.
This quote is true. When I don't expect to live through death, I appreciate being alive more. Otherwise in the past I long to die because I thought that is the permanent destination. Bullshit... I am going to enjoy my life now. Already I enjoyed my best fuck. Next is I will enjoy my Watch Collection, my Meta Models.
With this 4 Meta Models, I create my world on daily basis. That makes me a Creator. That makes me God. Beyond that realization there is no God and no afterlife.
I had come to a full circle with this impostor watch. So even if I cannot get a refund, I am glad I get the real lesson from it.
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Come to think of it I am experiencing satori all along. In Zen there is no concept of God. There are only the Path and the Force.
I like the idea. Rather than having an intervening theistic God, I am actually experiencing the awakening through the enlightenment of self. I think I stay on this course. I am becoming the Buddha without even making the effort of being him. That is pretty encouraging.
What I'll do is I trust the Path and I flow with the Force.
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I'm not going to complicate things. As it is I am God to my universe and my life is dictated by the Path and the Force. The term God here is nothing more than the Creator. I am the Creator of my consciousness. Therefore I am my own God.
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