16/11/19 ***2MAD DAY 40 Do, Think, Feel Sharudin

What does that mean?

That means whatever I do I need to be mindful that I am losing 30 kg and I am going to run 10 km per hour.

Bare in mind that Sharudin is a Nothing and he just be who he is.  By doing so he becomes everything he can ever be.

As Sharudin nothing is more important that AHAD and OMAD.

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Today I am doing the Weighted Walk.

I don't know how to put this to you Sarah but I will be talking to myself most often than not.  So if you can excuse me...

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Today I completed the 1 Hour Weighted Walk.  Towards the end I reached the state of Mushin No Shin.  It feels great.

No need [the] (for) any grandiose thought.  I just be who I am. The grandiose thoughts are actually part of the mania.  I just maintain levelheadedness.

The idea i[t] to be me as much as possible.  I am a great guy even without the superlatives.

Certainly my life is complete and I am experiencing the feeling of peace.

What I need is peace of mind, sanity and robust health.

No more talks on God and No God.  No more talk on External Affairs either.

I only deal with things within my control.

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What is it I want to achieve?  None other than being true to who I really am.

I need to get to the core of who I am.  The superlatives are just the various facades in [] (my) life.  Who am I at the core?  Who is Sharudin?  I am just a simple man.  It's my thoughts that are complex, my actions and feelings are simple.

I enjoy a good fuck, I like to write and I am an explorer.  Now I can turn that into a superlative.  However from now on I just remain humble.  Let's lead an ordinary life.  A life that is grounded.  Thinking that I am the Almighty is being aloof.  What do I have as a proof *[] (that) I am God?  I have nothing.

* Is this your intervention Sarah?

I can go around selling Snake Oil but I rather be DOING things that takes me closer to my goals.  Zen is about simplicity.  I need to unravel all those excess baggage and be as light as possible.

The answer is in making life simple as possible without being a simpleton.  That wa[s] I can harness my full potential as Sharudin Jamal.  I am already a loving person.  Now to be a loving empowered person.  Next is to be a loving empowers person who achieves Nirvana.

Back to being as simple as possible.  Everything about me is about simplicity.  With the exception of my watch collection I am pretty much a simple creature.  I am a creator without having to think that I am THE Creator.  I can live with that.

I can live with the notion there is No God.  The argument goes both ways.  If I live life to the fullest there is no need for eternal life.  As it is I live a fulfilled life. I can say the best part of it all is I am a free man.

I spoke to my father just now.  His final advice is to be grateful always.  My mom is now so drawn to the teaching of the religious gurus that she is hardly at home.  She is becoming a cultist of religion.  In a way my father is sensible.  He said we need to think for ourselves.  Not simply to follow the religious gurus blindly.  I hardly can speak to my mom nowadays.  She is always in some sermon somewhere.

My grandma said my mother is a Living Saint.  I don't think so. I think she is too much absorbed in her own make believe world.  I don't want to be like that.  It runs in the family.  Because of her outlook in life none of my kids are attached to her.

My mom is a drug addict.  Her drug is the religious gurus.

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At the end of the day Nirvana means different things to different people.  Heaven and hell is a state of the mind.  My Nirvana should not be something that is far reaching.  It should be as simple as having a good night sleep or a nice pleasant walk.

I don't want to complicate things.  I don't want to have rigid rules.  My rules should be as simple as Sharudin Seven or the Primal Blueprint 10 Laws.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

I like the idea of a simple mind.  There is no clutter.  Right now I am very clearheaded.  My goals are very clear.  So are my values:

 Along the way I should constantly be in peace, sanity and robust health.

This is part of Voluntary Simplicity.  Not only I got to simplify my materialistic needs.  I should also simplify my mental and emotional needs as well.

I need to detach from my dependency of money.  I only use money whenever necessary.  Basically to buy food and to replenish depleted items.  Beyond that money is for just in case.

I got it all.  I was rich and I was poor.  I like myself this way better.  I don't need to slog for money and yet I am sustaining a good life.  It's all about diet and exercise.  As long as I keep in mind to be modest in living a decent life, I'll be OK.

Most importantly I have to be mindful that I am progressively realizing my worthy ideal.

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Nothing like the feeling of certainty I get from you.  Because of that I can be whoever I want to be.  One day I am God, the next day I don't believe there is a God.  Am I any lesser either way?  Certainly not.  Because after all God is a concept, not something solid.  Even food, which is something that I need to have is nothing if I don't think too much of it.

Nothing is more important than air and water.  Other things I can reduce to its bare minimum.

I already get the utmost joy from my current belongings.  I don't need to keep on spending to make myself feel good.  I am already at the pinnacle of maximum satisfaction.  Even fucking, something I desperately need before is no longer an issue.

I think I can do away with watching porn even.  I am willing to forgo the temptation of the flesh in order to pursue Virtual Perfection.  By eating less or less frequent, I am opening a new horizon altogether.  Life as I know it had ceased to exist.  This is a new beginning.  This is the starting of a journey that will take me to the next 22 years.

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