Weight is reducing this morning.
Should I go to Lembah KIiara? Or maybe Bukit Kiara.
I must stay committed .
I feel a little bit disheartened to exercise due to the back pain but when I imagine the joy of sweating, I get motivated.
I think I just exercise at BU 2. I'll start at 7:30 am. That should give me ample time to jolt my brain.
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Let's talk about False Belief. One of the damaging beliefs that I had was thinking that I am somebody special as foretold by the folklore and predictions of the past. Heck I even think I was a time traveler. Very very damaging indeed. This is the kind of notion schizophrenic person like John Nash was experiencing. It can be pretty convincing.
The truth to the matter is I am just another person just like any other average Joe. With mental illness the fantasy and reality is very blurry.
Note: Man I still feel the urge to smoke pot. It is actually the need for company. My body tingles a bit as I anticipate the feeling I am going to have when I bond with BJ. I must fight this. I must exercise.
I had been progressing steadily. My weight had gone down. I had been improving my performance. Why am I feeling this way? I am lonely. BJ is the only company I have. I probably feeling depressed too because the back pain.
In the past I will definitely start the engine and went looking for BJ. Today I am going to dig my heel. It's not that I exercise that I am happy. It is because I am happy therefore I exercise.
This is the mood fluctuation that I got to manage. I got 6 months to go before Ramadan. I need to shake the urge to smoke pot. It leads me into smoking cigarettes and eat sugary stuff.
I need to rise above the situation. I need to persist.
If I smoke pot I will offset my effort the past 1 1/2 months. No more pot. That is the resolution. No meeting BJ until the next Ramadan. I must commit to this resolution.
The tingling sensation is still there. I should not crack under pressure. I had not come up with a strategy to overcome this tingling sensation yet.
Well, after a visit to Pornhub and a cold shower, I am back to being focused again. No, I'm not going to smoke pot and cigarette ever. That is my 2019 resolution.
I think at that time my dopamine was low. Now I got the boost (thanks to the Lesbian Compilation), I am motivated to exercise again. I think I'll do the Mall Walk at 9:00 am.
Later baby...
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